Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I would fuck him just for his dog
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