she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
