is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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