Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We left the knife in your bed.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You are the jesus of drinking
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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