Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Too much gin, very little bucket
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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