I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
