Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
