Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
