Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
