I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
