you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
