can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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