Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
