I just made out with a guy for $7.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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