i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
