i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
