I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
