don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
