I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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