I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
