I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
