dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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