Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
