I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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