He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
