I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
