I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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