screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize