Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
