We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
