I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
