are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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