So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think people are normalizing furries
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
