I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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