is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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