just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Come see our sink grown plant.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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