I wannas sexs uuuuu
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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