drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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