I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
