Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
