then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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