He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
