whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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