i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
