this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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