I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
