do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
