I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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