i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
