did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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