Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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