how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize