Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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