So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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