Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
