Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
