ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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