I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
