hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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