you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
