Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
