We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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