On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
