it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
