the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
