Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
