Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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